Don’t Forget to Breathe

Support folks— don’t forget to breathe.

It’s easy to get lost in the shuffle and excitement of birth, but it’s critical for support folks to take care of themselves. If the support system is unsteady, it’s not going to work very well, is it?

I have gotten questions about what support folks can or should be doing during labor. Usually, they want to know about comfort measures or get some reassurance that everything will be ok.

The most important thing you can do for someone in labor is stay present and calm— and the best way to do that is to take care of yourself as well.

Here are a few ways to take care of yourself:

• Breathe

  We talk about it all the time, right? Be sure to apply this tip to yourself. It’s especially helpful to breathe with the person in labor.

• Set a timer

  Use your phone or another alarm to help you remember to take two minutes to drink some water, use the bathroom, grab a snack, or otherwise take care of yourself. Two minutes every hour or so might feel like a long time when someone needs you, but it will prepare you to be 100% in til the next break.

• Sleep

  Just like with babies: sleep when they sleep. If the laboring person is getting a few beautiful moments of sleep, or if you are playing the waiting game, don’t be afraid to rest yourself. Whatever resting you do will be helpful.

• Hydrate

  As I mentioned before, you can set a timer to remind yourself to eat and drink. But it’s important to maintain good hydration in the days leading up to labor, too. It’s amazing the difference in energy it can make.

• Focus

  Just like everything above, what’s good for the laboring person is good for you too. Mantras, a short meditation, a focal point like a stone or picture, or other ritual can be useful to practice and use when you feel like your exhaustion is getting the better of you.

These are just a few things that you can do, whether you are a partner, friend, or doula, to take care of yourself during the labor and delivery. Don’t forget, birth is an emotional time. Give yourself a strong base and some grace when things get tough.

-Ellyn