I'm Scared...

Pregnancy brings up a lot of emotions: excitement, worry, joy, anticipation…and fear.

It’s not often talked about, because the focus for pregnancy is usually positive, but fear is a very real emotion felt at points during pregnancy, by both the pregnant person and the partner. Fear of the unknown, fear of complications, fear of pain, fear of loss: it’s not pleasant to think about but it is a reality. And it can be frustrating when you are feeling afraid and everyone around you is beaming positivity.

I’d like to just take a moment to say that it is NORMAL to be afraid, especially for a first birth. All feelings, including fear, are chemical reactions in your body that send signals to your brain to keep you safe, happy, and comfortable. We use these signals every day— worry keeps us on our toes, happiness reinforces behavior, anger lets us know that something is wrong. Have you ever felt a strong emotion and had a positive or constructive behavior because of it? It just goes to show that feelings are a very necessary part of our lives.

When these reactions begin to take over is when trouble can really begin. Sleepless nights for ages, constant worry with no control, avoidance, or anger can result from those feeling chemicals taking over your cognition.

The good news is that as humans, we have more than our lizard-brain instincts. We can acknowledge those feelings but not have to be ruled by them. It’s not simply a matter of trying to reason away your feelings, or dismiss them by saying “I’m being hormonal” or “I’m just worked up over nothing” (although that can be valid!).

There are millions of ways to keep your fear from controlling you. Meditation, therapy, hypno-birthing, deep breathing, yoga, journaling…the list could go on for pages. And while it is important to try different methods and find what works for you, the most important thing is to simply start with knowing that it is OKAY to be afraid.

You are not broken. You are not doing it wrong. Everything you are feeling has been felt before and it is completely normal, even if other people don’t talk about it.

Start by saying it out loud: I’m scared.

Follow that by remembering that it’s normal. Feelings are there to protect us, but we don’t have to be ruled by them. Then you can begin processing and releasing, and feeling better.