Building a Birth Plan
Healthy mother, healthy baby.
Of course, that’s everyone’s priority when it comes down to the bare minimum of planning for birth. But in the months before labor begins, I would encourage expectant parents to think beyond the baseline and start to ponder some of the true priorities they are interested in for birth. It’s easy to get caught up in anxiety about everyone’s health, or in the details of a specific style or atmosphere in the birthing room. However, asking a few questions of yourself can help lead to a birth plan that is flexible, comfortable, and wholly your own.
While the answers to these questions might not fit in your one-page, easy to read plan, they will help you decide what is important and what you really need for your birthing experience.
Things to Consider
How do I handle stressful situations?
And I don’t mean simply assessing whether you do well under pressure or not. The laboring person AND the birth support team should all take an honest review of what truly happens when an intense situation arises. This includes things like “I tend to freeze and want someone to tell me what to do,” “I feel the best when I am in charge",” and “I pick fights when I’m angry or nervous.”
The goal here is not to stop these reactions, just notice them. You may need a partner to tell you some of your habits; we’re all blind to a few of our own nuances! When these patterns are known, it can be laughed off, ignored, or otherwise mitigated during labor. Forwarned is forarmed!
What do I want to prepare for my birthing environment?
Again, noticing is the key. If you deeply want a birth with no pain medicine, or to labor in the dark with soft music on, or to play Tom Waits at top volume and scream—let’s plan for it! Make that playlist, practice whatever labor positions you want to use, and get it all down in your mind. In a situation that happens on it’s own pace and plan, make sure you have at least a few things you feel like you can control.
If you plan ahead, you will be able to ask questions and work around any issues that arise. Speaking of issues—
What if it all goes wrong?
How do you feel about sudden changes to careful plans, not-so-great news, or feelings surfacing about issues you didn’t even know you had? Birth is a bit of a roulette wheel, so how will you react when something doesn’t go according to plan? Because it will— major, minor, or in between.
Talk with your support team and get an idea of what you can do in the moment to process change and focus on the task at hand. Don’t dwell on all the negative possibilities. Instead, focus on your core desires.
What ARE my core desires?
Ah, there’s the real question. If you could choose three words to describe your ideal birth experience, what would they be? This question is not about what you want to be physically doing. It’s much deeper than that. Tap into it, even if it feels silly, and find out what you really want above everything else…peace? Safety? Ease? The answers might surprise you, but try not to judge yourself. The things you want are ok.
These four questions can get you off to a great start with building a birth plan. When you know how you handle stress, what you truly wish for, what you can control, and how you might react when things change, you can begin to prioritize information. Expecting a baby is a wild and confusing time. It’s ok to not know exactly what you want. Start with these questions and see if anything rises to the top.
-Ellyn