Your Birth, Your Choice

When people are considering a doula, I often hear of hesitation— doulas are only for people who want unmedicated birth, what if I want an epidural?

As a doula, I say: that’s perfect, get your epidural!

Any doula worth your time is going to support you in ALL of your choices. If they don’t support that, they aren’t the doula for you.

Birthing Rights

This birth is yours. It’s the only birth of this baby, and you are allowed to have exactly the kind of birth you want. Whether that’s a hospital birth with and epidural, a birth center birth with nitrous, a home birth in water, medicated, unmedicated, hypnobirthing, room full of people or just the basics: it’s YOUR choice.

Pregnancy is a time of surrender in so many aspects; you are sharing your body with someone else, you don’t get to choose when you will go into labor, and your time is not always your own. A good doula will support you when you make choices, because they are yours to make. It’s necessary for someone having a baby to have that freedom of choice for their sense of self and autonomy. In fact, it’s not only necessary, it’s a right.

The Wrong Choice?

Deep down, people worry about making the wrong choice. It’s as though, somehow, people feel like if they can just do everything correctly they will have a “good” birth.

I hear that phrase a lot— “a good birth.” Most of the time, what people are really saying is that they want to do birth correctly, as though it is a test you can ace or a class you can pass. Like most things in life, there is no way to do birth correctly. It simply is birth, and will happen no matter what you do or do not do.

Let me tell you a secret: what makes a “good” birth is NOT in the choices, but in the choosing. A hospital induction with an epidural is just as good as a home birth with hypnosis, as long as the person having the baby has the right to choose for themselves.

Getting the Birth You Deserve

So what can get in the way of the right to choose?

Confidence

A birthing parent’s confidence (or lack of confidence) in their decisions can both bolster and undermine their satisfaction with their birth. A good doula will help you feel confident in the decisions you are making by helping you think through all your options and giving you space to decide.

Informed Consent

This falls on the shoulders of care providers. Informed consent to a medical procedure means that the birthing person has been informed of the risks and benefits of ALL their options. A good doula can help support a birthing person getting informed consent by encouraging them to ask questions and consider all the options.

Knowledge

It’s important to be informed going into birth. Childbirth education, asking questions of providers, touring potential birth places…all these things can help you feel knowledgeable and confident. But the most important kind of knowledge is self-knowledge. Knowing your own desires and limits will add to your confidence in your choices. A good doula will help you explore your desires for your birth, discuss your fears and limits, and help provide context for decisions.

A Doula Supports Your Choice

You probably noticed the repeated “a good doula will…” phrasing throughout this post. Doulas who do all of the above and more are the right fit for you and will provide immeasurable benefits before, during, and after your birth. Whatever kind of birth you want, you will always have someone in your corner encouraging you. And that’s something everyone deserves.